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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jadedkitty

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If you could wake up as anyone tomorrow, who would it be?

me, but with more money

If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?

my computer, my entire room, and my pets (I'm super woman, or something.. Fire doesn't scare me)

What message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?

Live is Evil spelled backwards.....

Ask me anything

Tree, Socks, Christmas Lists & Other Things

I don't have much to say so we'll play update

I got mom a tree, made her cry
I'm working on decorating it.. it's going slow.. needs more lights

I got some awesome sock from a friend for Christmas

I look like a candy cane in them

 

there's a new addition to the furry family

it's name is Karma.. unsure as to it being male or female yet

it's about the size of my thumb <3

 

I don't feel like writing anything overly interesting, and I can't think of anything either 

(topic suggestions welcome, I'm good at tangents)

those looking for my Christmas list can find it HERE 

I miss my Fav... I'm hoping he pops in for Christmas, or around or after it... I wouldn't blame him for avoiding airports around this time <3

"I kneel at my alter and pray. I pray for guidance, and I pray for luck, good luck. Some people will wish someone luck, but they don't say which kind. Always be careful when you pray, because deity is listening and will usually give you what you ask for, not what you MEANT to ask for. Goddess grant us good luck."

 

Great work with Six

taken OUT of a set coming soon to DangerousDoll.com

 
"We walked timeless across the forests and deserts and jungles and plains. 

We walked the Earth. 

Blessed the Earth. 

Were blessed by her. 

I held out my hand and all the people climbed onto me. 

Ate from me. 

Blessed me. 

Blessed themselves. 

Made love. 

Food. 

Babies.

All was scared. 

I lay down on the Earth and was the Earth. 

I was alive with all that was scared.

Which was all. 

 I remembered it all. 

All my lives. 

All life. 

That was my gift: Memory. 

Memory. 

All of those people, all their lives, were in me. 

Were me.

I was more than the sum of my parts, but no less: 

Gods-are-us. 

God us. 

Goddess. 

Me." 

Today's Daily OM: The Impossible Dream

(Found in my email, from Daily OM)

The Impossible Dream
Right in Front of You
When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list. No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it. In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting is all part of the dance. The things we want motivate us to get up and get them.

And yet, at the same time, we can torment ourselves with our wanting, especially when we want something we can’t have or can’t find. It is in cases like these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what you really want is right in front of you. Maybe you are using this desire you can’t fulfill to distract you from truly engaging the blessings you already have. It may seem like that doesn’t make sense, yet we do it all the time. It may be easier to see in other people than to see it in ourselves. We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that, and looking at them we see clearly that they are everything they are wishing they were. We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy you yours. We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our perspective so that they could see that what they want really is right in front of them.

It’s not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same folly. It can be scary to have what we want. We get caught up in the chase and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us—like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach. Take a moment today to consider the many things you are holding in the palm of your hand and how you might best play with them.

I watch people do this all the time... I can't say that I haven't done the same.. only it's something I no longer do often.... the only time I stop considering what's in the palm of my hand, is when it has left, or abandoned me...

I always want, what I want, even when I get it... sometimes then I want it more...

Sick Pink Lips, Full Body Ache, & Tired

I hate being sick...

it's the worst... my body doesn't like the cold...

but my lips turn pretty colors when sick!

everyone should check out today's Daily OM located in the links >

over there >

it talks about embracing the things you see and feel with your mind

also, feel free to leave me questions or subjects you'd like to hear my ramble about

reasonable non vulgar things :P

 

Frozen Cold, Snow Hearts, & Calvin & Hobbes

I'm cold.... I'm also lonely.......... It doesn't feel like the holidays

I feel like whoever is holding this heart in just a sweater,

maybe it's my heart too...

I feel cold and lonely all over 

"Cruel the the world,
kind to few.. but I'm kind to you,
you bare my heart,
you strip down my soul..
yet here I am alone, lost and cold

I am the winter queen,
I am the snow,
I am the ice... but I'm still not used to the cold..
I ache for more, & wish for warmer, wish for you"

my horoscope said I'd be sad today and it was right.......

I was sad long before I woke though..

Some days I feel like Hobbes without a Calvin

or maybe it's Calvin without Hobbes

either way around it's lonely

 

OM: Everything You Do Matters

(These are not written by me, they come to my email.. seek the link for further information)

The Ripple Effect

In a world of six billion people, it’s easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone’s life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity.

 

Christmas Wish List

round trip plane ticket to anywhere in the US (more than one is welcome)

external portable drive (as many gb as possible) like this External Portable Drive

anything tinkerbell, jessica rabbit, nightmare before christmas, pirates, luis royo, tankgirl, etc

good lightblubs and some more pretty lamps

phone internet (40$ hook up, 10$ a month)

one of these Things to turn into a closet in my backyard

a tall standing mirror like - this one or this one

money is always good...... paypal, giftcards, etc... amazon also does email-able gift cards, and so do many other places

clothes, shoes, etc (shoes I love. these heels , these boots , and these )

I love this dress 

anything my fav colors: black, red, blue, purple.... pretty much anything but pastels and pink

new pillows, and a new body pillow

paints (acrylic)

canvus, or wood pieces

Painting supplies in general

a printer/scanner for documents

incense and epic air fresheners

I like millions of things....

art, books, and more

Giving Thanks

Occasionally I've been known to poke fun at this Holiday.. After all the way it came about wasn't very Thankful at all...

but aside from all that at my house it is celebrated as a family tradition, a way of saying thank you to the world

I'm thankful for many things...
My family, who makes this and all other Holidays unique in that no one dreads getting together

my few near by friends
and all my far away ones.. all loved dearly

all those I love..

for everything that ever got me to the place and person I am... most of it wasn't easy.. but it made me, me.. and I wouldn't trade that for the world

for my Fav... because you bring light to my life where it would otherwise be dark.. smiles where I'd normally look straight on... and teaching where no one has bothered...

for DangerousDolls for being the only alt girl paysite to be smart enough to hire me and give me a place to express my modeling and get paid for it

for my ability to live as a gypsy

for my new website (http://www.jadedkittykimiko.com)

for everyone that's ever helped me

and to anyone I've ever loved...

I hope everyone's day is great tomorrow...

and if you're a VIP member of www.thedangerousdolls.com
my first professional set goes live

with me sucking a lollipop and working with a grinder in a friend's garage..



PS
by tomorrow I'll have been cooking 4 days for Thanksgiving
so far I've made
pumpkin bread
pumpkin pie from one of our pumpkins, as well as the crust
stuffing from toasted potato bread
and berry berry cobbler

tonight is the turkey
tomorrow is the squish, deviled eggs and other things

I Need

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS

Bored Today....

I made two loaves of Pumpkin Bread
made dinner...
had allergies all day

and now I'm playing a silly game

I'm soo bored I could scream, but I've nothing interesting to say... (otherwise I'd be "annoying" my Fav)


 I need more paints
and more pieces to paint on

I also need a 500$ miracle

I see none of these things happening


I wish I could get away sometimes.... I wish I was being held........
I wish
I wish
I wish

my Fav says if you want something enough you can manifest it....
some days I'm not sure though....

                                                                                                             I think it's just one of those days...

I miss you Fav, wish I was with you..

I Should Be Sleeping

I should be sleeping... I intended to go to sleep earlier, when I said goodnight to my Fav....
but I'm restless.... I'm tired now.... but I wish I where with him instead.... I'd be asleep already if I where with him.... A haunting feeling that came with this morning's dream....


"She watched the way he savored her touch as he rubbed his bristled chin against her palm. The tickle made her instantly hot and aching. Until today, she'd never realized just how lonely she'd been. How much she wanted to be held by someone. No, not someone. Him."

 (quoted from a favored book)

Being held in my dreams, and haunted by the feeling when awake....  I need more paints... More things to paint out... More outlet for this feeling... Or I'm going to start screaming eventually

I can't have what I want at the moment, though I don't know why.... What keeps away???

But I don't understand why there isn't anyone suitable to at least pass the time with....

 Something displeasing about almost all lately... Or all I've personally encountered......... What fate directs these fools to me?

"For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow."

sometimes...........

               I just want.......

                                 what I want.......

and I wish......

 you'd come over already...........

so I know... so you know...

                                                                               so we know....

 I'd even do the Island thing with you

 

You'd have to protect me and all though... Island fear-ness and whatnot

or Here

 

as long as you keep me warm 

 either way I have this thing where

 

&

 

with you

To the rest of the world.... I'm Jaded.... It's true......

but my Fav....

makes me feel like it's the first time my soul's been born

and somethings I can only imagine for now.............

STOP BEING SO FAR AWAY....

the world is in slow moving slivers

there is a man with blue eyes

who wants my heart

and my heart

is determined to go

for my eyes could be blind

but in this not my soul

the man with blue eyes

must open his heart

open his eyes

open his soul

 for mine has abandoned me

and seeks him instead

mine calls his mind home

 I'm lost, I'm lost

but you keep calling me home

I'm cold

It is Dark

I'm so often alone

but neither of us can rest

when you whisper

it is not my ears that hear you

but my heart

when your lips touch mine

your breath steals my soul 

and when your fingers touch my skin

it's like being possessed

or owned

in the sweetest way ever known

"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."

Today's Sky

Todays Sky

 

Today's Clover, trying to get my attention

 

I'm tired today, a mellow tired... it's the sort of day I sincerely wish I was in my Fav's lap, laying across him, outside if we'd be in the south...

or on a couch or bed watching movies if it were cold...

he knows me too well... well enough to pull at walls no one else would know are there

well enough to know when I ache

well enough to know what I am

well enough to know how dark I can be

but the light inside

the pervert but craving more than just that side of things.........

ahhhhhhhhh

some days I feel like I fell into the rabbit hole....

I hope I have better luck than Alice...

in other news, here's me today

 

on a side note... totally craving hot fudge sundaes...

I didn't want love

I don't fear to be alone

I've been alone all my life

but at the possibility of a companion, being understood, being loved for who and what I am

makes something inside almost...... vibrate, with the highest vibration

What you find in My Inbox

off my phone

Me: I blogged today, it's cute, everytime I enclude the person that makes me smile (you) someone always replies they are jealous of whomever I speak of.. lol


Fav: were you sweet about me?

Me: Aren't I always sweet about you?? ;)

Fav: Yay!

Me: What's cute is this post is rambling, only one sentence touched on you. lol but some caught it anyway

Fav: You are highly desired it seems

Me: *shrugs* no one really wants me... Just what they think I am or can be.. They want the shell, not everything inside

Fav: I'll take the shell and the inside too!

Me: That is a vury serious statement luv ;) though you'll prolly be the only one that will ever be able to handle me

Fav: I could handle you

 
I <3 my Fav

(picture taken yesterday)

Love As Thou Wilt

I never wanted to love anyone.... Ever.... I find that I often do though..

I often love those who don't love me.... and I don't mean they don't love me at all.. I'm sure they love me in the best ways they are capable of.. for what they want me to be, for something they see in me, for something they get from me....

but none of them ever really love me.... and I do not speak of family, or close friends (those I consider close, not those that consider them close to me)

before I even continue... Loving my body is NOT loving me.....

I'd tell you I'm not romantic.... I typically hate romantic movies.. and it's true.. I can't stand the vast majority of them... but the majority of what I read... romance novels... Figure that one out, I can't... I guess the movies just suck.... or maybe the books are more realistic to people and the way they feel....

most days I don't think anyone can love me... though I'd love, to be loved, for myself...

I'll often say I've never loved anyone who was worth loving... Not for me anyway... I give too much... Get too little... I'm not easy to deal with... Yet at the same time neither am I hard....

the end result... I often wish I felt nothing... but too often I am left with no choice... in the words of The Wallflowers
 "But I hear voices
And I see colors
But I wish I felt nothing
Then it might be easy for me"

I see in colors... I hear the voices... I yearn for bright and vivid things.. as bright and vivid as myself.... but I often find a fear in that yearning... because you never really understand what you lose, as when you've experienced it and it then leave.......... I hate feeling........ It might mean no longer being disconnected, and being connected might even meaning doing what I'm meant to do in life............. but on some level... I hate it, scary shit...

Imora thea mi Savor

God save me from love...........


I've wished those words most my life... but God never does... Fate's source of amusement as I often call myself...

Will it hurt this time? if I fall even deeper, will I be able to find my way out on my own... Will I be left again unloved... or simply loved for something I am not, loved for misconceptions... and leave... I always leave... I never understood why before... Thought it was just the voice in my head... maybe it was... urging me to go find acceptance... real versions of love.... for love, if you were to ask me... has nothing to do with jealousy, pain, or power.... love should be equal, giving, sweet... it can have pain forced upon it, attempts at jealousy and power, it can hurt.... but if it's love then it'd stay it's true form even when hurting...

maybe I'm too much for anyone... lol...
too much contradiction
too sweet, but often too tart
too dark, but so light
too hard but loving
too tough but for some so fucking weak....
too sexual, but never touched

too much, too much

*sigh* I'm ending my sporadic thoughts.... and yes I think that way...

I leave you with a picture took last Sunday, most likely while I was saying something smart assed
(taken between actual photo shoot sets while I was finishing my makeup

PS... one of the greatest statements I've ever heard is "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

He's so hott It Makes Me Want to Take off My Clothes

I mean it...........

the world has had a slight change... those Lovers I have no longer get pictures..... I wonder if they've even noticed? or miss it?

He makes me want to take off all my clothes, all my barriers, all my walls...

Just strip me down, and in the end for once I won't remain un-found....

 

flashes of skin and silent secret grins

 

hehehe

THIS, is my latest painting (yesterdays)

 

and for anyone who has yet to meet the ULTIMATE brat

this is

Sir Clover Leaf

aka

Clove, Cloves, Clover

 

and as a result of He that makes me want to take of my clothes

lately I'm on fucking FIRE

 

that's it for now

"Because it is meant to be so. 

Our mind goes where it gets best nourished.

Our heart goes to where it gets best received.

Our body goes where it gets healed."

and in you I find all three

I miss you like a Light misses the Dark...

"Monogamy is like saying you'll only eat rocky road flavor ice cream for the rest of your life..."

but what is rocky road ice cream is the only flavor that understands you?

I can't say that I ever could or couldn't be... I've learned better than anyone that I'm capable of things I've never suspected.. I asked my mom today if she thought such a thing were possible for me (being with just one person).. and she looked at me most doubtful until I brought up the point that no one I've ever tried being with ever understood or accepted me for me... They've all loved something they wanted me to be.... She agreed this is one of the main problems of my unhappiness. How could it not be?

I will tell you there is someone in my world right now that I really like... that I knew I liked too much with in two days of talking to them... They make my heart do fluttery things, my skin flush, takes interest in my art and teaching me new things... at my own pace...

That the heart wrenching I experience when I think of them being some other way with me than we are (unless it's more), is enough to make anyone consider if it could be.. Can it be?

I now glow in pictures, more than is normal for me

For all my dark and demented ways you'll find me smiling more now.. Life in ways has a whole new out look, that I've never seen before... and I've never been more excited over it.

I cannot tell you where life is going in these coming months... but I feel the end of this year brings something big...
I also know that once I make up my mind... it's set

Each day this mind becomes more and more set..

I've never known someone that's known me better... I've never known someone that can intuitively know my life and experiences.. not just sexual preferences..

 

Make This Day Better...

Someone make this day better, this week better.... this weekend better....

So Yesterday...

I got sucked into this site

and I now want tons of things I can't afford

but found one I need -  Jacket
sadly I don't own one... I hope I don't freeze

then I found this which according to the description was made for me -  Dress

 "I saw you in a lemon yellow sweater dress at 3 o'clock on Saturday at the corner store. You stood out across the room, the cable knit on the front of your dress and the ribbing on the back accentuating the curves of your body. I thought the folded turtleneck collar peeking out from below your red hair was a cute touch - the fabric covered buttons details, and your smile when you looked at me from across the room. Want to meet for coffee? I think we'd have a lot to talk about."


I'm starting a Wishlist there, anyone want to be my Fairy God Mother/Father

I'm also taking donations to save my ass/storage with my stuff, my mothers, and my passed away grandfather's things
an old ex who offered to help out left me with a staggering back bill

 these are pretty awesome too - Leggings
 

Hahahaha in referance to my TELEPORTATION obsession - Teleport Tee 

And now, some pictures

This is me going to bed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

come spank me

(hahaha)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is me this morning, unhappily leaving the house

Missing Outs

Someone keeps missing out on this, maybe more than one someone.... but this "outfit" is with a particular in mind

 

 

 

PS: get smart... steal me for a weekend... the one after this one is pretty open..

(no I don't suspect said person reads this but it's okay)

<3

Kitty

PPS